Skyrim: Narnia Found

Alduin by Brooke Allen

To say that I had been waiting for The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim with bated breath and a rapt anticipation reserved for small children taking their first step into Disney World is the understatement of the millennium. Never in all my years had I ever been so excited for a game release, and never before had my pinning been so gloriously rewarded. I am here today to proclaim to the entire world at large that Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim is…THE BEST GAME EVER MADE.

DISCLAIMER: The opinions of Julian are in no way reflective of the entirety of Magnet Beam or its affiliated nothings. Statements made by Julian should be taken as interpretation of facts rather than facts themselves, opinions subject to change pending future releases.

I do not expect this opinion to be wholeheartedly shared by everyone. I very clearly understand that many things about this game appeal to me in an individual way that is unique to me, such as my inexplicable fetish for mining (I think I blame Snow White for that…), but I want you to very clearly understand that my intent here is not to give Skyrim a “review” or analyze its place within gaming history etc, I was told to “write something about Skyrim” so I decided to create text-based fellatio.

Being in Skyrim is truly unlike any gaming experience I have ever had. People try to generalize and categorize games with words like “sand box”, “fps” and “rpg” but Skyrim breaks these molds and then melts them down to forge a sword and then kill a dragon with it. In so many ways one does not actually play Skyrim. You temporarily take up residence within the world for however long you can manage to keep the (alleged) real world at bay. Barring the actual discovery of Narnia I think this as close as we are going to get to the level of inter-world transportation described in the novels of C.S. Lewis.

Ice Troll by Brooke Allen

Being in Skyrim is not about points. It’s not about being elite. It’s not about tea bagging. It’s about approaching situations and interacting with them in the manner in which you actually see fit; completely free from social constraints, laws, morals, the expectations of your parents and even the gods themselves. In many ways Skyrim allows you to become a truer version of yourself than you actually are in real life. I’ve known since birth that I am actually a Dunmer magician stuck in a Homo Sapiens body, in Skyrim I am finally free to live as I truly am.

As if it was not enough for Skyrim to represent the pinnacle of what we used to call “open world gaming” the world itself that this ridiculous freedom exists within is so lovingly rendered with such infinite care, consideration and tremendous effort that had Tolkien himself lived to see it he would have had to tip his hat. From food to literature to equipment to architecture and building design, no single part of this world has been shorted attention. For those unfamiliar The Elder Scrolls world is steeped in lore; with recurring books, a deep theological system tied into real world prophecy, ten races (each with unique cultural backgrounds) and of course the prophetic Elder Scrolls themselves. In no game I have ever played have I felt such a sustained sense of place and of being visual stunned, over and over and over. Most times we are exposed to the majority of tricks a title holds within our first 3 hours or so, but Skyrim never actually stops blowing your mind, uniqueness billows from every corner of the world, no two days are alike, and expectation are exceeded as soon as you formulate them.

Let’s discuss some of the awesome things I have lived in my alternate life as Morinehtar the Dunmer wizard, Arch Mage of the College of Winterhold, Thane of Whiterun, Student of the Greybeards, Scourge of the Forsworn and, of course, Dragonborn. I’ve used the force of my Thum to knock Frost Trolls off craggy mountain tops, watching them somersault through the air as sweet gravity does all the hard work for me. I’ve crept cautiously through ancient barrows, contemplating my every footfall in fear of swinging spikes, hidden dart guns and unrelenting flame jets. I aided a women plagued by the unwanted affections of a local minstrel, I did this by beating his face in.

Run by Brooke Allen

All great deeds yes, but I have also slaved in silver mines seeking precious ore to improve my smithing abilities. I’ve combed libraries for unread books and hints to long forgotten treasure to be chased down. I have also spent more time than I’d care to admit gazing, actually gazing inside a game world, at low slung valleys spread out before a mountain side perch, or a particularly stunning night sky while wandering home out of the woods.

Most important of all, however, are the dragons. There is almost nothing of equal parts excitement and fear as when you are trudging around and hear that shriek come screaming across the wind. Immediately you cast your eyes to the sky and spin wildly until you find it, circling high in the sky, and from that moment you know that only one of you can walk away from this encounter. What makes the dragon fights so absolutely perfect is their shear brutality. The term “Dragon Slayer” is not an apt description of what you are doing. Slaying conveys a dominance on your part, an aspect of command and control that you never have in these engagements. These are tooth and nail, fire and wind, steel and scale clashes drawn out by their intensity.

The encounter of man and dragon, deep in the wilds, with no guards at your back, and no gates to run for is something that no human should go without experiencing. The word epic fails to truly capture what is happening in those moments. There is no walkthrough; no FAQ; no glitch to save you. You are FIGHTING A DRAGON. Everyone will have their chosen approach to these creatures, bows, magic, axes but whatever your chosen weapon you better be damn good with it. Dragons don’t allow for mistakes, dragons don’t give a shit about how many potions you have, they will kill you or die trying, and you better be ready to do the exact same.

I think what makes Skyrim so perfect in the end, the thing that keeps you coming endlessly back, is its unrelenting brutality. As powerful as you may think yourself, somewhere out there is a force of nature that makes you look like a bunny rabbit. Somewhere there is a trap you won’t see, no matter how many triggers you have sidestepped. Somewhere brooding hungrily in the belly of a dark cave is a demon the likes of which you have never seen. In Skyrim you can never allow yourself the luxury of hubris, because there will always be something out there in the wilds that has fought a mud crab that is more fearsome than you, and doesn’t that just make you want to find it and kill the shit out of it?

Julian May is our resident “Bad Games Player”. Don’t feel bad for him. He volunteered for the position.

His love for Bethesda games is borderline psychotic and he is often overheard referring to Todd Howard as God Howard.